Sometimes, I tell myself that I need a little love for myself. Therefore, I create my own special rituals every morning. A cup of coffee from my espresso machine, or my own blend brewed in my special coffee pot. It’s through such a ritual that I breathe in the morning and can start my day. I used to believe in rewriting the rules of love for myself, such as deciding to take a different route to my gym. I sing a cheerful song. I explore a new fragrance on the way. Sometimes, I rearrange the décor of my room. After Lunch, I dive into work on my laptop, where my busyness seamlessly blends with my moments of leisure.
I came to believe that the concept of “free time” had faded amid the passing of days. I am aware that I used to have free time before. Now, I find myself longing for that; for some time solely for me to sit quietly, browse, read, exercise, work, send messages, catch up with friends, watch something, or simply savor a meal I love.
The last time my heart danced with joy over something I ate was that piece of Ma’amoul (Eid cookies). This has become nowadays a distant memory as price of sugar is extremely high.
Now, my mornings end with no coffee, no Ma’moul, and none of the little happy moments that I used to live.
Today, I wish a miracle could happen and turn the phrase “Good morning” into a true good morning.
Najiyeh Mahmoud
February 27, 2024
