September 2024
God blessed me with my son, Maher. He is my soul, my life, my heart, my everything…
Forgive me, my son. I never intended or knew this would happen to us.
I never meant for you to have to use a bathroom that wasn’t your own or to sleep away from your pillow, your toys, your room with its colors and warmth. I didn’t know you would end up sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a place unfamiliar to you.
I never intended for you to speak of aid arriving from over the sea, nor for you to help us gather firewood for baking and cooking.
Nor did I intend for you to know that there’s no food left to buy in the markets, or for you to go without the jar of Nutella you love.
I never intended for you to see death and fear, or to know what it means to flee in the night.
Nor did I intend for you to become a military expert, able to distinguish between the sounds of planes, bombs, and artillery.
Nor did I ever want to hear you say “What did our home do to deserve this?”
Forgive me, my son, for I didn’t know, nor did I ever intend for this to happen.
Forgive me, for I forgot that you are still only four years old.
This is our fate.
Bader Maher Tarazi
February 28, 2024
