I’ve given birth three times, but I’ve never experienced a natural delivery. Each time, I underwent a C-section. The doctor was highly skilled, always leaving behind a fine, almost invisible scar with a cosmetic stitch after each surgery.
When women learned this, they were often astonished. They typically said, “It doesn’t show at all. You don’t seem like someone who’s given birth.”
Some warned me I might suffer from muscle cramps in the winter due to the cold or experience intense pain where the fine scar is located. Yet, it never happened.
I also heard that the summer heat might cause a prickling sensation from the scar, but that, too, never came to pass.
For the most part, I forgot the scar was even there. It was hardly noticeable.
But now, I feel it constantly. I see it clearly and can contemplate it closely. It has begun to impact me deeply. It pains my heart, my liver, and my soul, and even causes discomfort with each breath I take, between every inhale and exhale.
No one ever warned me about this.
That fine scar on my body reminds me every minute:
(You gave birth to a son, a daughter, and beautiful twins).
And now, you are left alone.
In the photo, you see my children—Yamen and my twins, Kenan and Orkida. The occupation forces trapped them in the house and prevented them from leaving. A week later, the house was bombed, and for the past three months, they have been buried under the rubble, as the occupation prevents us from approaching the site.
Alaa Al-Qattrawi
